The Girl Next Door...

Thoughts run through my mind at all times. Working in the office or at home, laughing with friends, walking the roads, even while making love, there are a million things that are going on in my head. We would be discussing the country's economy. You would probably think that I am fully concentrating on what you are saying, and I would probably be making all the right responses too, but I might, in all likelihood be thinking that the girl seated at the next table has great earrings.

That's what an average woman is like. For years I have been swearing on all things holy that I'm not your average girl. And yet, time and again, I prove myself wrong.

I started out by being the biggest bawling baby one ever had the [(mis)fortune?] to meet. Took me time to grow out of it, also out of the flashes of temper I would display at sudden moments. As days, months and then years flew past, I developed into something nobody could be sure of at any given moment. I would be cruising along perfectly on a path and then suddenly veer off on a tangent. And that goes for decisions regarding stuff ranging from the dinner main dish to the college I graduated from.

A friend of mine said something about me once and I quote " smart, individualistic, strong opinions - mildly opinionated, but not to a harmful degree yet - intelligent, absorbs, doesn't share, but comes across like she does, which makes her easier to get along with. Watchful has no problems giving 90% of herself to others, who may mistake it for 100%, but fiercely guards the other 10%, which really is her core. She has to trust you very deeply to let you in there and it's a rare person who gets in there; she won't help you by guiding you, you'll have to figure out by yourself...the fact that you did figure out is one of the most important criteria to reaching the core. Hurts easily, but has developed a strong wall and so it doesn't pain that much - that wall is the same thing that keeps people out of the core. In fact, the fact that she does that is the wall. "

And it is completely true…